Fatherhood after divorce
In Austria, following a divorce, the children almost always remain with the mother. Joint custody is considered to be conflict-enhancing and is not granted by the courts. The most common arrangement gives the mother custody and the father visitation rights, usually every second weekend and one or more weekdays in between. Statistics show that after three years, a significant proportion of fathers no longer practice even this limited access, but have reduced their contact with their child or children even further.
On the basis of case studies, analysis of court records and interviews, our study searched for the causes of this decline in paternal contact.
The following reasons were found to be most significant:
1. (traditional roles) Prior to the divorce, the mother was the primary parent. The father had few skills in taking care of his children and little familiarity with their day to day life. After the divorce, when the mother was no longer available to mediate, explain and organize, the father felt uncomfortable dealing with the children on his own and gradually reduced contact.
2. (absence of parental commitment) The children were more the wife's domain. After the divorce, the father enjoyed his increased freedom from family matters, or alternatively, he had found a new partner with whom he wanted to begin a new life, unencumbered by "baggage" from his past life.
3. (transitional difficulties) The visitation situation is in itself a difficult and awkward one. Seeing ones children at large intervals and being excluded from their day to day life makes it difficult to reestablish a relaxed, normal interaction. Making contact only to separate again can be painful both for the children and the father. Its dynamics can also lead to renewed conflict between the divorced parents. Many fathers found this so distressing that they preferred a greatly reduced contact or none at all.
One end product of this study is a handbook or manual for divorced fathers, containing suggestions for better managing this situation and overcoming some of its inherent difficulties. How can the father acquire the skills and information necessary to become a more self-confident parent? How can the father best make time and space for the children in his new life? How can stressful situations with the ex-partner related to child-raising be handled? How can a strong bond be established and maintained under these adverse circumstances?
This handbook may be obtained from the Austrian Ministry of Family Affairs, �.(in German)
